Jodhaa-Akbar (2008)

Two kingdoms unite
Sharafuddin will not die
How can love bring peace?

Jodhaa Akbar is a lovely movie. After being chastised by a few readers for so negligently allowing a full three months to pass without chasing down my BwBF's latest movie, I hustled on down to a new market to pick it up. (Dude only charges $2 and you can keep the film a week!)

Unfortunately, watching J-A allowed me to realize just how ridiculously shallow my tastes have become inasmuch as Hrithik is concerned. Sitting through 2+ hours of him looking stately without a single dance move was more than I can bear! *No booty shaking? None?!* I mean, I know he was supposed to be the Emperor and all but couldn't he do a little somethin' somethin'.....for the Queen? *sigh*

Additionally, the circumstances of my viewing were less than optional. I had gotten some girls together for another "Bollywood Night" and had planned for us to watch Bunty aur Babli. Then, at the last moment I thought Om Shanti Om might be better since I still haven't seen it yet. When it wasn't available I added on Jodhaa-Akbar instead. Foolishly, I let the newbies pick which film they'd rather watch based on the dvd covers. Wowed by the intricate costumes and a "princess story," they chose the historical drama.

After the bazillionth nobleman was introduced and the gazillionth hint of betrayal was shown, a few people's eyes started to glaze over. I've obviously seen a fair share of Indian films but I only have a fuzzy idea of Indian geography and the people groups in each state. I kind of get the religious conflicts presented but most of the other girls didn't. It was definitely not a good "first film."

Then there was Sharafuddin. I'm not the first blogger---and I certainly won't be the last---to comment on crappy subtitles but golly gee whittakers this was the worst I've seen in a while and THE worst film to have bad subtitles on. J-A has a cornucopia of peripheral characters and they don't have nice modern names like Pooja, Raj or Ali. The point being that Sharafuddin was a central character to the plot and due to craptacular subtitles, EVERYONE had gotten it into their heads that he was killed in the first half of the movie only to discover he was quite alive and preparing a large, sinister coup d'etat right around the time Akbar finally 'gets some' from Jodhaa---also a major plot element, but far easier to follow. ;)

Still, for all my complaints, the cinematography was flawless. The production values were INSANE. (I heard there were 1,000 extras for one of the songs and it sure as heck looked like it.) Doing a film with that level of opulence in the US hasn't been feasible for years. The costumes were designed by the fabulous Neeta Lula (Devdas). And of course, the director scored two of the most beautiful actors in the universe.

Bottom line, the film is good...heck, it's great. It just requires your full attention.

You decide.

I got a frantic email from a friend yesterday claiming she had seen Hrithik in a commercial on TV here in the US. (No, it's wasn't Bollywood-on-Demand.) Thanks to the wonders of the internet, she was able to procure the promo from YouTube which I've posted below for your viewing pleasure.

As for the decision part, Has my boyfriend been darkened in the reggae scene or is that just a really nasty shadow? Just taking a friendly poll. You know how much I like blackface!

At any rate, Hrithik looks as delicious as always. He's working the Latin flavor pretty well. Which is marvelous considering his next costar is Mexican telenova star Barbara Mori. It has been said that Sonam Kapoor turned down a chance to star opposite Boyfriend #1 because the role in the film was "too bold". (Sounds another lawsuit opportunity...)

There's very little info about the film online as of yet--the working title is "Kites", Papa Roshan is involved though not directing--but gathering from the tidbits on Barbara's wikipedia profile, it has been suggested that filming will begin in late July with locations include New Mexico, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles.

There is a reasonable chance that I'll be in Los Angeles in July and August. (more on that later) If I see Hrithik in LA, I will pass out...which wouldn't be a bad thing. If I don't pass out, I will inevitably become a bumbling mess of too many words and not enough sense sentences. He will inevitably extend his hand in greeting and I will stare too long. It all goes downhill from there...

Monday Eye Candy

Today's Hrithik moment is courtesty of our friends at Sony.
When they're good, they're very, very good but when they're bad, they're hor-rid.

Fiza (2000)

A city torn

Bhaiyya burns with vengeful hate
Chasing empty rage

Fiza wanted to be good but it wasn't. It just kept plodding along. That's not to say there weren't any good moments. Heck, this movie featured fabulous actors but something was amiss that I can't quite lay my finger on.

As I understand it, this was Mrs. Big B's return to film after a lengthy hiatus. She did not disappoint. Note to directors: Karisma is a much better actress than Kareena. Spread the word, ok? The scene where Karisma mourns the death of her mother is one of the more real moments in the film--very moving.

Naturally, I have no objections to Hrithik's gratuitous workout scene, which was quite a substantial distraction from the storyline. *mmm* Yes, well at least this film is equal opportunity. Sushmita Sen had a ridiculously long item number that had nothing to do with anything either.

Overall, it was nice to see a film focused on the journey of a young, single woman that wasn’t about her search for love—not that there’s anything wrong with that mind you. ;) Fiza is a strong character. She’s independent, focused and truth be told, I was a little miffed at the unresolved nature of her relationship with seemingly “kind, affectionate and rich” college boy but I imagine that’s just jealousy on my part…

Fiza is worth the watch for Hrithik fans because well, that’s what fans do. Unfortunately, the film falls flat when compared to his other (?!) performance as a Muslim terrorist in Mission Kashmir.

Koffee with Priyanka!

Not only is Priyanka Chopra ridiculously gorgeous but she seems like a lot of fun! I don't know when this episode of Koffee with Karan aired but it was a great watch.

First of all, we all know that Karan is a rumor-monger. Did he really have to pull out that clip of Kareena saying that she's not really friends with Priyanka? That was kinda dirty. Funny, but dirty.

Priyanka seemed really cool and very nice--like the one of the popular girls that would actually be secure enough to hang out with pseudo-nerds like myself. Hrithik on the other hand seemed to be in quite a mood. Honestly, he answers questions like my ex--never really quite answering because he's too scared insecure to commit or and he's lying. Perhaps, therein lies my deep attraction...

Here's part one of five:

Na Tum Jaano Na Hum (2002)

Na Tum Jaano Na Hum is just as cute as can be. I desperately try not to fall prey to chick flicks because well, I don't want my teeth to rot out from all the sweetness. At the end of a movie, I hate to feel like my girliness has been taken advantage of. You can't help but like this movie. It's bloody precious.

To sum it up: Sleepless in Seattle meets You've Got Mail + dance numbers.

So basically, as usual, Hrithik runs around looking gorgeous, mischievous and yet somehow approachable. Saif plays the bumbling skirt chaser. Naturally, the two have known each other since childhood and through a chance series of events end up tangled around the same girl (Esha Deol). Oh the irony! One can't help but wonder how the tragically lovesick couple will ever be united. Only after much heartbreak and sobbing, I assure you.

I was even a bit taken in by the exchange of childhood toys between secret lovers. Yes, they went there. I have no shame, I'll probably buy a copy off Neha Flix later...

At any rate, this is the second time I've seen Hrithik in a dress. Not sure how I feel about that. When one is pretty, it would behoove one to guard one's masculinity a bit more closely. But I digress.

It's worth the watch but you've been warned.

Play on Players

Gee. I can't imagine what I'll blog about when Hrithik gets old and ugly. Until then, feast your eyes on this John Players ad.
If only life imitated art...

Bollywood Boy and...Christ

I had been vaguely musing over the fact that I'm quite overdue for an introspective theological post and lo and behold I was drawn into deep thought by a pop lit book masquerading as journalistic inquiry into Hrithik Roshan's meteoric rise into cinematic reign.

When I finished reading Justine Hardy's Bollywood Boy, yesterday, I couldn't help but pause in thought over the cost of fame, the weight of adulation, sameness in difference--life in general. [I won't bother reviewing the book. Folks have done an accurate enough job on Amazon.com.]

The thing that started my head spinning was this, "You know I am so tired all the time. I can't remember not being tired." Spoken by Hrithik during his interview with Justine, these words, in the last 5 pages of 264 hung like a heavy mist in the dialogue of my mind. Dang, I thought. How many times have I said that in the past year? Their dialogue continued leading Hrithik to say, "I just wonder what it would be like if it could all just stop and I could get on with learning how to act." By the time I completed the last few pages of the book, the mist hadn't lifted, it had settled. I wonder what it would be like if...I wonder.

In about 15 seconds my mind connected these questions with my personal quandary of existence: What is the point of pursing something that you would wonder about if you had not pursued it only to be wondering after receiving it what it would be like to be released from it? Does the weight of unmerited adulation exhaust more completely than the glare of undesired obscurity? What is the difference between being dead tired from inescapable success and being tired from the inescapable monotony of normalcy if in either instance, you are unable to escape? Any difference is merely outward.

My mind quickly switched gears:
If difference is merely external, only an internal stability will weather the innumerable questions of possibility--an internal stability I don't believe I possess--a complete and clear sense of purpose to weather obscurity and the monotony of life. Hmmm. What else could make life more bearable? Love. Love? Love. It is so easy for me to love beauty and its manifestation in mankind. Purpose is not something that can be gathered from beauty though the aching absence of purpose can be softened by love. Perhaps love redirected will produce the needed result. Weird. A verse from my Sunday school days came back to my mind, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul and your mind." [ref] It rang like a nursery rhyme weighed down only by the settled mist.

So began my dialogue with Christ:

I do not see you Messiah in all things. I see beauty and I love it most. I do not feel drawn by your words, rather feelings of retreat. The song of beauty offers escape so sweet, so easy to follow. I sing in harmony with it, a song I learned when first I learned to choose. How then can I find such sweetness in your voice? How can I be drawn so easily to your side, to your otherworldliness that I will sing your song, your praises, your harmony as if it were the only song I had ever known? Why can I not rest in your love? Find in your eyes fragility, humanity? See you everywhere, hear you in the pauses, in the words that are not said and receive you, believing that you will receive me every time?

I asked and I received. It's a curious thing--barely explicable, too fresh to unwrap--a quiet, growing sense of receiving and being received by an invisible, omnipresent and personal being in my response to questioning whether he was beautiful and being shown that he was. ;)
He is.

It's hard out here for a hottie

LOL! Looks like Hrithik's hottness finally got him in trouble...

Apparently, Bollywood Boyfriend #1 and Aishwarya Rai have caused a bit of a stir with their lip-locking in Dhoom 2. I know, it's hard to watch two such ridiculously beautiful people share a passionate moment and then go home to your ordinary looking spouse.

In the name of ordinary looking folks everywhere, there's a fella in Madhya Pradesh who filed a criminal case against the pair accusing them of obscenity. Personally, I think he needs to admit that this has quite a bit more to do with hotttttness than it does with actual offense.

Geez! As if Aish didn't have enough on her plate with her tree marriage and all...

BTW, I've seen the kiss--yeah, YouTube!--and it's only medium hott. Maybe it's more offensive in context. Can't wait till Thursday!!!
Story from Reuters.

Um, yeah. And on to the real reason why Hrithik's married to Sussanne and not me:

“While doing the scene, all I knew was that I had to answer the challenge set by Sussanne.

She said, ‘If you are going to do the kiss, make sure it’s the best g*ddamn kiss in the world.’

Eventually, both Sussanne and I loved the kiss.” Who was on his mind during the lip-lock? “You think of (the characters) Aryan and Sunheri, that’s it,” he states. [Hindustan Times]

I, on the other hand, would be far more inclined to take K-Jo's advice and lock Hrithik in the closet...

FINALLY!!!

Goodness. I wasn't sure how much more I could suffer in silence! Dhoom 2 is coming to Nashvegas on December 7.

Why Thursday night I don't know but I will most certainly be buying my ticket early to avoid any potential violence on my part should the showings become sold out.

I am so looking forward to seeing Bollywood Boyfriend #1 on the big screen again. That Abhishek guy ain't bad either...

See you: 6 p.m. at the Belcourt.

Dhoom Again

As if you hadn't seen enough already...
Here's the newest music promo for Dhoom 2.



Seems like a little Gene Kelly meets NSync to me!
[From Our Bollywood]

The 4th Dimension

After consulting my site statistics again, I realized that most of the people who google their way to the site are looking for one thing or another about hottie of the universe, Hrithik Roshan. As much as I hate to infringe upon the trinity of Beliefs, Blackness & Bollywood, I've given everyone's favorite fake-pretend boyfriend his very own category:

(Hrithik)

Try not to overdose...

What do Dhoom2 and Coca-Cola have in common?

...Hrithik Roshan of course!

While I'm on the Coca-Cola kick, here's a little refresher on why I can't wait to see Dhoom 2...



Sidenote: Is anyone else the least bit bothered that there is NO way that could be Hrithik's hand holding the Coke in the bottom left of the screen in the last shot?

How Hrithik's bringing sexy back

Um, thanks to this commercial--dang it Hrithik!--I am now running out the door to see if the market has a pack of Parle Milano cookies...

Tell me why...

Um, now y'all know I love my boo. Nonethless, tell me why he is straight lookin' like,

"Hulk Hogan, are you my daddy?" in this pic.
[*whose idea was this? raise your hand so I can pimp slap you*]

Our friend Hulk is like,
"I DON'T KNOW BROTHER!"

New Dhoom 2 promo

Here's the latest Dhoom 2 promo making the rounds. If you haven't already, you can watch the trailer here.

Dhoom 2 songs

DJ posted songs from Dhoom2 on his site.
"Touch Me" is a salsa/reggaton mix--very smart move for the producers. While "My Name is Ali"--did Uday really need a song?--has elements of the Spanish classic, "Quizás, Quizás, Quizás"

All the tracks are big party songs. I'm way hyped for the movie!

Check the songs out here!

[I sware I heard some Spanish mixed with Hinglish. I don't think I'm cool enough to be trilingual 'cause my brain went into momentary overload...]

If I didn't know better...

...I'd think this was a photo of an action figure. I'm beginning to think Michelangelo is Hrithik's personal trainer. [Thanks naina for the 411!]

I really hope Dhoom2 comes to Nashville before 2007...

More Dhoom2 promo pics at rediff.com.

Also, bonus question for those in the know, Do the words "Dhoom machale" actually mean something? Or is that another "shava shava" type thing going on?

Yaadein (2001)

Truly, the most notable aspect of this film was the fact that Hrithik's character behaved like an egomaniacal child throughout. I'm sure if he and Kareena's characters met in real life, actually dated, and had the chance to break up, Hrithik's photo would appear on dontdatehimgirl.com.

All that withstanding, I make no apologies for my bad tastes. Two car accidents, a kerosene, a knife and a gun suicide threat, who can ask for anything more? This movie isn't very good but I'll probably buy a copy when Nehaflix adds it to the $5 sale. Maybe it's because I have two sisters--the youngest one is a bit too wild for her own good and the middle one doesn't take any crap and the oldest (me) can be a bit of a pushover for conformity--that the echoes of sisterhood override my more discriminating tastes. In this fictional account, somehow these girls have an overwhelmingly loving relationship with their father and I for one, am all for living vicariously.

There are parts of Yaadein that I really like:

1. Hrithik's family playing like this hotel is their house.
2. The scene where Kareena slaps the mess out of the youngest sister. Way to take it to the street y'all! ("Call the police! You said you were going to call the police!")
3. How ghetto fabulous Sukhant’s family is! Stop playin!
4. The theme song, Yaadein. [Would it be wrong to name a child that? I mean, it's quite possible that somewhere in the non-English speaking world a child is named Memory.]
   
5. Dude with the BRIGHT yellow turban has a matching BRIGHT yellow tie.

Even the bad parts of this film get mad love:

1. Boo-ty outfits. (Click to enlarge.) Somebody was trying to sabotage Hrithik's career early on and this film is concrete evidence. Heck, even Kareena deserves better than pink puffy prom sleeves. [Who wants to start the site for Bad Bollywood Fashion? There's enough fugly in here to be posts 1-10.]
2. Serenading a Coca-cola can.
3. Kareena crying like Claire Daines. (Again.)
4. Hrithik imitating Jim Carey. Why lawd, why?!
5. FYI: Bed sheets are the new black.
6. Rich people with surveillance photographers. (Again.)
7. Those rich folks hired paparazzi but where is security when you need them? They let Hrithik have 3 whole minutes to embarrass the mess out the whole family. This, from the same man that had security attack him 20 minutes earlier? I think not. In fact, his diatribe was so long, I wanted to pimp slap him. He did not have to embarrass little whats-her-face-with-the-short-hair like that even if she is fast...

Still, there are only two actually unacceptable things about this film:
1) this is the first time I’ve seen a black (African) man in a Hindi film and said man is shooting at the police while running like a fairy princess. He obviously didn’t have the skill set to be a store clerk or something; 2) this is the first film of any kind I’ve seen where someone has heard gunshots and proceeded NOT to take shelter in the nearest building or at least duck/dive to the ground, but to walk—not run—out into the street, then get hit—not by a bullet—but by a CAR.

Mujhse Dosti Karoge (2002)

Susan was nice enough to lend me her copy of this movie. Lo and behold, I actually have seen this one before and had forgotten all about it! Maybe I blocked it out because I rented it from the not-so-friendly Lady's market. At any rate, this movie is a prime example of my cotton candy theory. Thus, here's my list of reasons to watch:

1. Kareena Kapoor cries like Claire Danes.
2. The longest, most fabulous Bollysong medley-mix the world has ever seen!!! [Was that thing like 20 minutes or what?! This time around, I think I actually recognized three or four songs which means I absolutely must watch again in three months and re-check my score!]
3. Rani & Hrithik dance in the rain!

Um, if you need more reasons than that, you probably shouldn't watch. Haters!