Happy New Year!

So here I am in a new year wondering if anyone is still reading this blog...
I'm at a loss as for what's coming up in Bollywood these days or as to what films of note I might have missed. What should I watch next?

Believe it or not, it was easier for me to get Indian films in Nashville than here in Seoul. I've been told there are a couple of markets here in town but apparently, they're all segregated to one area of town (Itaewon). That being the case, for better or for worse, I've resorted to torrent sites to get my fix.

I need recommendations!

And, as much as I complained about Akshay Kumar's last cinematic adventure, for some reason, I can't help but want to watch this one.

Part of what kept me blogging in the beginning was the feeling that there was so much more to see. Now that I'm near a hundred viewings, I know deep down inside that is NOT the case. Still, I'm not quite ready to throw in the towel. ;)

Happy New Year everyone!

India Express shout out!

The blog got a mention in an article in The Indian Express on phoren Bollywood fans.

My buddy Beth (who loves Bollywood) got a lot of column width! It's a nice little masala piece.

:)

Dostana (2008)

John and Abhi gay
shows Karan's fantasy in
thinnly veiled story

Ok, ok. There's a bit more to Dostana than that but not much. Regardless of anything else, the film editor on this one was either a woman or gay man (Karan Johar?) because I have a hard time believing a straight dude would leave so many lingering images of John Abraham's glimmering abs and perfect pects in the final cut.

Parts of this movie were so ridiculous, I almost felt offended for the entire gay community, and that's saying a lot. Par example, the scene where the man in camo starts crying about his boyfriend being in Iraq and complementing John & Abhi on being such a happy couple...WTH?! It was ridiculously random...like a bad parody of Jack on Will & Grace.

Ever since KANK, I've been yelling, "Why can't I quit you K-Jo?!" but we all know it's a losing battle. Even as I watched in various moments of horror and dismay I couldn't help but laugh myself silly at Abhishek's behavior in the lovestory "flashback" scene. He looked like he was interpreting a (gay) man interpreting a woman which I suppose he was but the fact that he was three steps removed from reality really showed as he was throwing his lanky limbs all over the place and making pouty faces!

As for the lovely John Abraham, this might be his best role yet: the straight guy every gay guy wishes was gay. I mean, isn't that like his life story? All he had to do was show up. No acting required. Just thinking about it, I would hate, hate, hate to see him and Aishwarya paired together. That would definitely be the Titanic of beauty and non-acting. *sigh*

Basically, the film is only good for giggles. If giggling at men enacting every gay stereotype is funny to you, or more specifically, Abhishek Bachchan enacting every gay stereotype, then you'll find something worth enjoying. Well, there's also Priyanka looking as beautiful as ever. (Bobby Deol isn't much worth mentioning here.)

Also, a couple of the songs are really hot. Still, this one isn't going to make my favorites list!

Bollywood is Happier.

I watched half of Singh is Kinng last night, which no lie, is remarkably idiotic.* But this morning on the train I found myself thinking, How is it that I like Bollywood so much better than Hollywood?

Bollywood is...happier.

That's what makes it so endearing. It lacks the cynicism of the hopes and dreams of a thousand atheists--it's Hollywood counterpart. And that's what makes Jab We Met so perfect. An absolutely cynical character gets cured of melancholy by a few songs, some dancing, a series of idiotic mishaps and of course, a girl. What could possibly be more pleasant?


*I won't hold back, I think it was the most widely stereotypical display I've seen in years. If I see Akshay Kumar play another 'dumb as dirt, strong as an ox' Punjabi boy, I might have to slap someone. And then there were all the black people used as props. Robbing people in Egypt, running gangs in Australia, getting the crap beat out of them, and my absolute favorite, completely destitute and living seven to a camping trailer on the outer limits of town. Wow. As if I hadn't lost enough IQ points by the end of the film, Snoop Dog pops out in a turban during the credits. (And why wouldn't he? This is what he does in his spare time.) And yet, somehow, if I had to be locked in a room with this or 70% of the films that have won Oscars the last few times around, I'll take "Utter Buffoonery" for $300, Alex.

Meanwhile, back in Bollywood-land

I've been meaning to post on Jab We Met because it might just be my favorite romantic comedy...ever.

And I'm not sleepin' on Sahid Kapoor anymore either. I get it now. He does this look. And the cinematographer was working it. lol!

The little bit about, "Maybe he's impotent." "He's not." "How do you know?" "You can tell." "But how do you know?" And on it went. Hilarious. Was that even scripted?

This is the first film in which Kareena's performance didn't annoy me so that's saying a lot.

Considering it was recommended by a true B'wood cynic, I shouldn't have expected any less. :)

Race (2008)

brothers hate and love
sex and murder flow as one
stay alive to "win"

*sigh*
As many things as Race had going for it--gorgeous actors, great music, good storyline--I'm secretly hoping not to see many more Bollywood films like this one. One of the things I adore about most Bollywood is its carefully guarded sense of naivete.

Though I was quite amused by the catchy first song of the movie, Rock the Dancefloor--which had a Latin-flavored track over cowboy ranch/redneck visuals, some break dance moves, a few stray black folks who weren't looting, attacking, or gang afilliated, (one was permitted screen time for a booty dance!)--by the last song of the film, I had seriously had an upskirt overdose. Seriously.

I only rented the film since both of the guys at the different markets I go to said it was a good film. Which it is...in general terms. But then, what guy doesn't want to see the some of Bips' boobs? I, on the other hand feel slightly violated. I mean, just when you thought it was over Saif's having another flashback. I mean, I know it was good and all...

Anyways, the car and stunt sequences were pretty solid though. I like cars quite a bit, so that almost made up for my suffering. Also, I had never thought much of Saif (lawd, especially after Hameshaa) but I could sense the appeal a bit more here.

At any rate, my biggest beef is needless violence. Fairly early in the film when the cheating jockey is blown up in his car Saif and Akshay drive off with these ill smirks on their faces. All throughout, there's just too much casual nihilism for my liking. Films like this make me physically tired after watching them.

Let's just hope my next film choice will be better...more like Om Shanti Om, which I still haven't reviewed yet!

Baabul (2008)

True love dies. Wife alone.
Is sati next? Khabie nay.
A new love rescues.

I wasn't particularly impressed by Baabul though I wanted to be. This film had BigB, Salmaan Khan and John Abraham for goodness sakes! Oh yeah, and Rani.

That said, sorry to add spoilers BUT Salmaan's unfortunate death is the best one I've seen since Brad Pitt got hit by two cars in Meet Joe Black. It was so...wow.

Whatever happened to Millie's childhood friend? No one's seen him since the wedding. I heard he's a Chippendale dancer in some European club with a bunch of white girls as backup dancers... Well, something like that.

Poor John. The same thing that make him a great model make him a terrible actor and dancer...the ability to hold the same expression for WAY too long. After seeing John Abraham trying his best to act and dance, I won't complain about Salmaan ever again! If you happen to run into John on the street don't embarrass him by asking, "What do you do?" He can't answer, "I act," or "I dance." John knows the truth. The only thing he can say is, "I sexy." Seriously, he must have studied acting with Keanu Reeves...

Speaking of sexy, Rani's lip gloss be poppin' in the final scene (that went on way too long). It's so luscious it's distracting!

I think the message was more the point than the film itself. With that in mind, they should have done an infomercial on treating widows kindly rather than make audiences suffer!

(Furthermore, is John Abraham the poster boy for Widow Kindness Month or what? First Water, then this!)

Bollywood Rules!

Since I'm home sick today, I thought I'd put my time in between naps to good use.

I'm working on an informal "Intro to Bollywood" YouTube-type video for an acquaintance. Basically, I'm trying to whittle down my list of necessary Bollywood elements...the rules if you will. All commercial films follow some sort of rule system as far as story elements are concerned.

Sooo, here's my top 3. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments.

1. There is always a love story. Always. (I especially like it when people find time for love in the middle of a terrorist subplot. That warms my heart.)
   
2. Grown men cry...and dance! (Korean actors have the crying part down but most of them can't dance a lick.)
   
3. There will be blood singing and EVERYONE will lipsynch. (If you know of an actor/actress that sings their own stuff. Please do let me know!)

Jodhaa-Akbar (2008)

Two kingdoms unite
Sharafuddin will not die
How can love bring peace?

Jodhaa Akbar is a lovely movie. After being chastised by a few readers for so negligently allowing a full three months to pass without chasing down my BwBF's latest movie, I hustled on down to a new market to pick it up. (Dude only charges $2 and you can keep the film a week!)

Unfortunately, watching J-A allowed me to realize just how ridiculously shallow my tastes have become inasmuch as Hrithik is concerned. Sitting through 2+ hours of him looking stately without a single dance move was more than I can bear! *No booty shaking? None?!* I mean, I know he was supposed to be the Emperor and all but couldn't he do a little somethin' somethin'.....for the Queen? *sigh*

Additionally, the circumstances of my viewing were less than optional. I had gotten some girls together for another "Bollywood Night" and had planned for us to watch Bunty aur Babli. Then, at the last moment I thought Om Shanti Om might be better since I still haven't seen it yet. When it wasn't available I added on Jodhaa-Akbar instead. Foolishly, I let the newbies pick which film they'd rather watch based on the dvd covers. Wowed by the intricate costumes and a "princess story," they chose the historical drama.

After the bazillionth nobleman was introduced and the gazillionth hint of betrayal was shown, a few people's eyes started to glaze over. I've obviously seen a fair share of Indian films but I only have a fuzzy idea of Indian geography and the people groups in each state. I kind of get the religious conflicts presented but most of the other girls didn't. It was definitely not a good "first film."

Then there was Sharafuddin. I'm not the first blogger---and I certainly won't be the last---to comment on crappy subtitles but golly gee whittakers this was the worst I've seen in a while and THE worst film to have bad subtitles on. J-A has a cornucopia of peripheral characters and they don't have nice modern names like Pooja, Raj or Ali. The point being that Sharafuddin was a central character to the plot and due to craptacular subtitles, EVERYONE had gotten it into their heads that he was killed in the first half of the movie only to discover he was quite alive and preparing a large, sinister coup d'etat right around the time Akbar finally 'gets some' from Jodhaa---also a major plot element, but far easier to follow. ;)

Still, for all my complaints, the cinematography was flawless. The production values were INSANE. (I heard there were 1,000 extras for one of the songs and it sure as heck looked like it.) Doing a film with that level of opulence in the US hasn't been feasible for years. The costumes were designed by the fabulous Neeta Lula (Devdas). And of course, the director scored two of the most beautiful actors in the universe.

Bottom line, the film is good...heck, it's great. It just requires your full attention.

Abhimaan (1973): and why I am still single

Man jealous of wife
Love withheld becomes sorrow
How can songs be sung?

Wow. This 70's throwback classic really dampened my spirits in as far as relationships go. Abhimaan is the story of a fabulously talented woman who is wooed heartily by a slightly less talented man who, after marriage, encourages her to shine...until she begins to outshine him. *grrr*

In general, I steer clear of flicks like this because I prefer to maintain rosy images of the other gender lest I dissolve into a pile of man-hating feminizing. I'm sure most women don't have such easily disturbed notions of menkind but to my own ridiculously-single-for-OMG-3-years-now detriment, I do. Seeing behavior like this reinforces the idea that men are petty, immature, and threatened by successful women.

Oh yeah, back to the movie, this is the only film in which I actually recall seing Jaya as a young woman. (I didn't know who she was when I saw Sholay.) She's so cute and "simple" in this film. I can see why she was very popular. In the defense of menkind, BigB's BFF was a source of reason throughout the film. He chastized BigB for kicking it at another woman's house and later inisted that he reconcile with his wife. The movie is interesting but not particularly challenging. It's amusing to watch the real life couple on screen in their youth though.

Soooo, what does this have to do with my life with two dogs rather than a boyfriend? This film strengthened my resolve to be single rather than annoyed. Unfortunately, I'm easily annoyed and clearly, all the more easily single. The thought of having to go pick up my drunk husband from another woman's house at midnight does not inspire the classy sort of resilience Jaya's character displayed in Abhimaan. It inspires thoughts of a BEAT DOWN.

To be continued...

Hollywood baby!

Sooooo, I haven't posted in a while because I'm working all kindsa hustles to get some stuff in gear in the next few months, one of which is spending some time in LaLa Land, otherwise known as, LA--Los Angeles, California.

I got accepted to the Act One summer writing program which is really cool. They only take about 24 writers or so each year. Not only does that make me feel special :) but more importantly, it means I'll have very good access to the instructors and over the course of four weeks of 8-hour days, really get a chance to know and build relationships with the other writers.

In other acts of random impetuousness, I sent some info to a recruiter for English teachers in Korea and they'll be sending my 411 to the Seoul Metro School System within the next two weeks. For a while, I worried not only about the safety of my little dog but whether or not my Bollywood habit would be wrenched from my grasp while staying on East Asian soil.

Fortunately, my fears have been laid to rest. Well, not about the dog thing but by the fact that Seoul has a 300-member Bollywood club led by a fellow calling himself Hangulo. Considering the strength of Korea's indigenous media industry, that's saying a lot. It makes me smile.

Almost as much as the thought of being at Santa Monica beach during summer. Almost.

[Up next, Abhimaan (1973) & Why I am still single.]

You decide.

I got a frantic email from a friend yesterday claiming she had seen Hrithik in a commercial on TV here in the US. (No, it's wasn't Bollywood-on-Demand.) Thanks to the wonders of the internet, she was able to procure the promo from YouTube which I've posted below for your viewing pleasure.

As for the decision part, Has my boyfriend been darkened in the reggae scene or is that just a really nasty shadow? Just taking a friendly poll. You know how much I like blackface!

At any rate, Hrithik looks as delicious as always. He's working the Latin flavor pretty well. Which is marvelous considering his next costar is Mexican telenova star Barbara Mori. It has been said that Sonam Kapoor turned down a chance to star opposite Boyfriend #1 because the role in the film was "too bold". (Sounds another lawsuit opportunity...)

There's very little info about the film online as of yet--the working title is "Kites", Papa Roshan is involved though not directing--but gathering from the tidbits on Barbara's wikipedia profile, it has been suggested that filming will begin in late July with locations include New Mexico, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles.

There is a reasonable chance that I'll be in Los Angeles in July and August. (more on that later) If I see Hrithik in LA, I will pass out...which wouldn't be a bad thing. If I don't pass out, I will inevitably become a bumbling mess of too many words and not enough sense sentences. He will inevitably extend his hand in greeting and I will stare too long. It all goes downhill from there...

Chak De India (2007)

[I was so amped when I finished the film I forgot to write a haiku! The review is now properly introduced...]

Coach wants one team, ek!
Girls learn to "play well with others."
Soon, the fight is on.

I loved this flick! I’m loving the “We play for one country” theme. A team is a team. This is Shahrukh Khan in all his glory. I’m definitely feeling the goatee…and the obligatory rain scene. (Has Shahrukh ever been in a film where he didn’t get doused with water?)


On to other things, if I was Punjabi, I’d be salty about how snarly the Punjabi girl looked. Even so, I’m still mad about her unibrow. I mean, I guess they were going for absolute realism on that one but they coulda gave her some kinda touch up! Where were the stylists? Makeup?!


Sports films are notoriously predictable and this one is no exception. The first half has some nice character development and the second half is, well, sports. Except for that little private moment with Bindiya and coach in the restroom, but I digress. (Was that good acting or was the actress really making our man SRK nervous?)


Also, I guess it wouldn't be me writing the review if I didn't mention the fact that it was really cool that several of the girls were supposed to be from remote rural areas...jungles even(!) and that some of them actually looked different. My favorite line was the bit about being treated like a foreigner in your own country. Word. Maybe, someday in the near future, in a mainstream fillum, one of those foreign or "jungle" girls will actually get to have a backstory. Here's for hopin'.

On a unifying note, that moment at McDonald’s had to be the best fight scene I’ve watched in a good long while. Not because the action was so stellar but because it was vicariously satisfying. Who hasn’t wanted to beat the crap out of obnoxious catcalling boys at the mall? *two tight slaps* Girl power!

Watch the film.
Go.
Rent it immediately.

Kannathil Muthamittal (2002)

a peck on the cheek
no cure for child's deep longing
though she calls it home

I had been wanting to see Kannathil Muthamittal for quite some time. For some reason the dvd was never available on Netflix and not being able to pronounce the title, I gave up trying to find it at a local market.

Fast forward a year or so and this film is the reason I renewed my Netflix subscription. I was flipping through the pages of films available for instant viewing and saw "A Peck on the Cheek" buried in the foreign titles. It was NOT listed by it's actual title which probably explains why I couldn't find it.

First of all, Mani Ratnam is the best. His films offer a wonderful balance of beauty and substance. Secondly, there is just something very pleasant about Madhavan. I can't lay a finger on it but I enjoy watching him on screen.

Interestingly (or sadly) enough, before watching this film, I didn't know anything about civil unrest in Sri Lanka. I only knew the people there are very brown, many of them are very pretty and M.I.A's from there. My mention of it is not to imply that the film bothers to explain any of it, but in typical Ratnam style, it shows glimpses of people on all sides of the conflict. Still, the conflict merely plays background to the story of a little girl desperate to find out where she came from and why her birth mother left her behind.

I am such a sucker for adoption stories. This one was particularly challenging in that it made me think of the emotional process a child has to go through even when adopted by parents of the same ethnicity and language AND likewise, the emotional process the parents have to endure and the potential for being pushed away. Where the revelation of adoption might make one child cling to his or her adoptive parents all the more, another child feels the need to reconnect with their biological heritage and there's no way to predict or prepare for the outcome.

Enough rambling. If you haven't seen the film, watch it.
You'll thank me.

On a lighter note...

Today is my birthday.
In an email, my coworker sent me a myspace type sparkly and this video.

*Oh my* :D

That's what I call luscious...

A friend just sent the link to a NYTimes article on Princess Mrs. (Abhishek) Bachchan.

It mentions her canceling out on a chance to film with Will Smith (again) this time because of Karva Chauth. (Really though, it seems that one could fast in any country. Sieves? You can buy 'em at Walmart. The moon? It can generally be seen from any location in the US. Ok, maybe not smog-filled LA but you get the general idea. A tag along husband and a public image of traditional marital devotion--much harder to get on set...) At any rate, the two will inevitably do a film now that Will's production company is using UTV for distribution.

Anyhoo, the article is here. The official website is here. And please, please, don't choke on the eye candy.

Talk about cheating...

FYI, I'm referencing myself not the reader who sent me this email:

Hi:

Know of any Bollywood films depicting the British Raj -- especially 19th
century colonialism? I'm working on a project that looks at former
colonies' cinematic portrayals of colonial periods.

Thanks for any tips!

Mike

I figure it's a cheap excuse for a post. Off hand, the first films that came to mind were Lagaan and 1942: A Love Story. To a lesser extent I suggested Rang de Basanti.

My readers--if there are any left ;)--are a smart and well informed bunch. I'm sure there are numerous films I'm not aware of. Don't fail me now!

Drop your knowledge in the comments.
[Happy Black History Month!]

Jaan-E-Mann (2006)

Man of disguises
Hides his love in another
Should love conquer all?

I picked this video up in a random impulse moment at the library. It, along with Humko Deewana Kar Gaye, was laying on the "return" counter. Knowing that anything worth watching has been recently checked out, I went for it.

The film was distinctively different. I'm still trying to decide if that's a good thing. Any film that opens with a scene in a space station, that also isn't about NASA, can be a bit perplexing.

To sum up the story line, it's something like Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam with a dash of the surrealism in Moulin Rouge. Complete with both a fake dwarf and real ones, my personal highlight of the film is our friend Salman punching the lights out of a few guys in Times Square while dressed in a dress. The halter cut was a nice touch. lol.

In other news, Akshay Kumar is definitely growing on me. I had seen him in Namastey London earlier this year and enjoyed his performance. I haven't seen any of his action stuff but he seems to have reasonable facility as the "jilted lover" which isn't easy to play gracefully.

So, final vote, see it.
Cyrano de Bergerac type storylines are always a hit. It's terribly melodramatic but when is that a bad thing? And, this movie features the cutest little baby you've ever seen.

Bollywood Business

There's a nice little piece in Newsweek about current rumblings in the Indian film industry. In some ways, it's kind of sad to hear that folks are going the way of Hollywood. Gangsters and film families are way more interesting...

Hooray For Bollywood

In other news, Night Shyamalan has one more mess up before he's on my "Do Not Watch" list. lol. I hope he doesn't bankrupt his producers with this latest venture.

Well, maybe not proud.

It looks like the old Rimi Sen post is picking up some heat. First there was the "just toeing the line" comment:

It's not that Indians think dark skin is ugly - they just think that it's not "ideal".... it's personal choice, not racism.

PS: Riya Sen and Bipasha Basu have dark skin and one of the most beautiful women in the world!

*sigh*
I've said my fair share of embarrassingly ignorant things so I'll let this one go unchallenged. I know I'm an outsider but when people call Bips "dark" I'm like, WTH do they call Johnny Lever?!?

Moving on. The discussion dissolved into this comment which sincerely made my jaw drop.

as a black woman speaking (half nigerian, half antiguan), i can't help feeling that we are the least desirable people on earth...i can't think of many beautiful celebrities who are 100% black.

I was still waiting for the punchline when I read this part:

i am surprised to learn that a third world country (india) is THIS advanced and can make very well-made movies.

I don't think that's the punchline but it sure was funny. (Not "funny ha ha" either.)

but africa (except north african/arab africans) and carribeans (expcept indian descended carribeans) isn't very beautiful and advanced and the traditions is not very nice too. the black african western culture is really bad too

The commenter takes a few moments to describe black Western culture (as relayed by Southern rap, no doubt) and she's still not done. To sum it all up:

i wish i can say that i am black n proud, but then i would be a hypocrite.

Damn.


*moment of silence*


*another moment of silence*


I'm not the type of person to dis someone for being honest. If that's where you are in your emotional journey, then that's where you are. Granted, from time to time you have to assess whether or not where you are is where you want to be.

So, the primary reason I'm still up typing this when I should be easing my sleep deprived self into bed is because of the comment that followed which launched a petty personal attack on the previous commenter and included these choice words:

You being a black woman, I feel bad for you. You will never find a man.

Excuse me, WHAT?! I'm willing to tolerate some level of ignorance but I do mean ignorance, in the dictionary sense of the word: lack of knowledge, education, or awareness

I do not tolerate insult. Did someone just walk into my house, insult one of my guests, and try to sucker punch me at the same time?!

NOT COOL.

Lakeesha may not be down but I'm black, proud and will lay the smackdown.

As for the essence of her comment, most of which has been discussed here, the point about there being no 100% African celebrities is moot. (Un)fortunately? America is the entertainment capital of the world and most black Americans are "mixed" so that's the look you see on screen. Likewise, "the look" for Indians in America is brown--mochalicious brown. Well known Indian super hotties in the US probably wouldn't get hired for lead roles in Bollywood because they're *gasp* "dark".

So no, there's not many African celebrities but I don't think that's for lack of beauty. Miss World 2001 was Nigerian. It's more about of lack of proximity. Djimon Honsou's done reasonably well but he came to Hollywood via Paris. When the resources are there, the faces are there. End of story. Celebrity is an indicator of little more than a good publicist. Check out the website Jamati to see more African celebs if you like. [Random aside: the handsome fellow in the photo is a staff member from Invisible Children in Uganda. Check them out.]

Thanks for commenting lakeesha. Don't let the cyberbullies send you into hiding. Sing along with India Arie and holla back.