Friday, May 02, 2008

7,680 men: or Why I am still single...Pt. 2

The baggage mentioned in part 1 is in addition to the fact that I couldn't possibly marry a man who doesn't share my worldview, one based on Christian faith and a passion for intellectual inquiry. I've been wanting to calculate the numbers on this one and stumbling onto this page inspired me to finally do it.

2006 US census numbers indicate approximately 233,039,000 folks in the US of which slightly less than half are male--113,073,000. [ref] Of those, only 30,129,000 are between the ages of 25 and 39. Because I rob neither cradles nor graves, they are the only ones that matter.

It is estimated that 40% of Americans are Christians and of those, about 8% hold similar beliefs as my own. [ref] (I gave up my Christianity to follow Christ.) Accounting for beliefs leaves a solid 2,410,320 and we're only half way through. The general trend is that 51% of men 25-40 are married BUT Christians run about 10 percentage points higher on the marriage stats [ref] so actually, I'm looking at something like 61% married. I'm just under a million. (988,231 to be exact.)

[Side note: It is to my own detriment that I live in Tennessee, one of the most marryingest states in The Union [ref] a state where only 27.3% of men have never been married. Which is a generous calculation considering they included 15-, 16-, and 17-year-old jailbait.]

I know, I know. You're probably thinking, So what! That's still almost a million guys! True. I'll even leave in all the guys who are "separated"--cause you know, it was totally their ex's fault--and the 2-3% who are living closeted gay lives. I'm feeling generous.

All things being equal, of that infinitesimal sliver, 12.3% will be black. [ref] Of them, 8% will "marry out" and 2% of the others
(who are probably Latino), 0.2% of Asians and 0.2% of the white boys will convert to the dark side. Net loss: 9,724. Net gain: 4,544. *Such is life.* That leaves me with just 11.77% of the previously selected men--a grand total of 116,372 fellas somewhere in the United States.

In addition to all this, I have the nerve, the gall even, to want to marry a guy who's smart. Ok, ok, and not fat.
And has straight teeth.
And doesn't smell.
(A girl's gotta dream!)
Assuming "smarts" are on a Gaussian distribution, I've just cut my chances by 90%. I said 90% people! *cue gasps of horror*

That's only 11,637
potentially compatible men spread across 50 states and 3,794,083 square miles
[ref] ...and 1 in 3 is probably dating someone...make that 7,680 men. You do realize that's just one eligible bachelor for every 494 square miles? ...some of whom are very unattractive?!

I probably should be worried but I feel a bit liberated. I was beginning to think I should "try harder" but really, trying to root out 0.006792% of the male population is a task suitable only for His Infinite Majesty. Jesus take the wheel...

Still, the next person who asks, "Why aren't you dating anyone?" is getting a printed copy of this essay and a pop quiz.

8 comments:

Indianoguy said...

Ha ha ha...Nice post. I could have written this. In my case, the woman cant be too religious!. Tennessee is not the place for singles looking for "intellectual" types and thats the reason, I moved out of Memphis.

Since moving to Philly, I've dated 3 girls and none of them worked out. One White Jewish girl (doesn't read books), a Black Jamaican (smart but too cynical) and an Asian girl (who was already dating some other guy, but wanted to try me out)

So, my free advice...move to east or west coast and keep looking till "lightening strikes"

t-HYPE said...

lol. Long time, no comment!

indianoguy, it's comforting to know that though we are fundamentally incompatible--due to prior stated statistical traits--we suffer the same afflictions. ;)

Indianoguy said...

Well, I decided to be more pro-active in the search for that one elusive girl, hence the disappearance from the blogosphere! :-)

Anonymous said...

T,why u take so many times to write a new post?It's very irritating 4 the regular readers of ur blog (ofcourse I'm one of them).But,atleast u r continuing,and I'm really glad 4 that.Whatever, wishing u best of luck to find ur perfect match.
Now,about ur current boyfriend.Duggu is now proud father of two boy! Congratulations! (after all,he is YOUR boyfriend) And the second one got his father's seductive eye color :-). His name is Hridhaan means Great heart (another HR).
Well,waiting 4 ur reaction!
Agnila

nic said...

wow t-hype, u seem to have given this some serious thought. Though if I were to write about this, I would have probably written much more.
I come from the land of arranged marriages and things are radically different in Indian society but I can tell you one thing, arranged marriages may seem counter-intuitive but my experience tells me that they work big time and probably if I don't find someone within a year I would also be having one soon. My parents want to see me married within 1 year and I haven't even found the right girl yet, so i am on some serious deadline ;) I wish I could explain you the mechanics of how and why these things work but it will be too much so I will leave it for some other time.
I had once seen Oprah's show where she had said that u need to surrender to your marriage.That in my opinion is the real key to a fulfilling marriage. Its not about marrying the person u love, its more about loving the person u marry.

t-hype said...

well nic, the older I get, the more I see the wisdom in the old system (arranged marriage) for the simple reason that a lot of folks probably would never marry otherwise. At the same time, the few people I've talked to about it have been guys and they have no problem with it. On the other hand, I know a couple of girls from very strict (African) families who HATE the idea.

Truth be told, if I thought I could trust either of my parents' judgment, I'd have them on the hunt for me BUT still I'd hold 'the right to refusal.' ;)

RandomlySane said...

wow. i totally googled bollywood and came up with your blog. ummm - another black woman who loves bollywood, is (or was) single, and lives in nashville?? do i know you?? lol..

t-hype said...

Sadly RS, the status is still "is".
Send me an email though, we might know some of the same folks...