Hamesha (1997)

Love death did not part
Love wealth can not buy, but
who loves Hamesha?

Hamesha actually made me shout at the television, You play too much! an expression my people are sometimes prone to overuse but on this occasion, was most appropriate. One hour into the film and the only thing I’m thinking is, “This is a HOTT mess!”

Aside from Saif’s billowing scarves (12 at last count) and Kajol’s copious headbands, I really can’t get down with revenge suicides. Am I the only one who thinks that boys who threaten to kill themselves over you should be promptly reprimanded? I mean, talk the fool off the cliff and everything but don’t actually go out with him. Sheesh! What’s he gonna threaten you with when he wants sex and you have a headache? But I digress…

So as far as costuming goes, the ‘90s are in full effect in this film. Billowing poet shirts and a-line cut dresses were quite the rage at that time. Likewise, the soundtrack is saturated in Kenny G-esque saxophone riffs and a couple of synthesizer tracks that sound like they were lifted from a Cranberries song.

Ok – the second half: No Saif did NOT get beat in the face with a stick (!), jump up, run down hill, catch up with a speeding car, jump on top of it, tussle with the driver, get thrown off the car, run down the side of a cliff to grab (yes grab!) the car before it fell into oblivion being choked all the while, to then have to defend himself in a fistfight against Prince Cujo!!! WTH?!? Well, at least old dude got his come-uppance.

By the second half, the music is just too much. It’s out of control y’all. One more soaring string ensemble followed by the sinister synthesizer track and somebody was gonna get a letter in the mail! I think the most fascinating thing about Hamesha—perpetual killing a la Indian combined with the revenge/rebirth a la Karan Arjun aside—is that the film required very little acting from any of the stars.

Frighteningly enough, Hamesha has led me to the conclusion that the makers of this film will be reborn 100 births as men in love with sub par films. Ha ha!

[Side note: Is anyone else perplexed as to why fashion didn’t change a bit in 22 years?]